The Reluctant Host - Part 1

Madhav walked home moodily from his office. He had no wish to go home. He wished he could stay elsewhere till his house was clear of the latest invasion of guests. Madhav was an introvert; not so his wife who loved nothing better than to be surrounded by people. She was a great cook and was very hospitable to the various guests who landed at their home regularly. This posting to Mumbai was turning out to be a disaster as far as Madhav was concerned. All his relatives who lived in the village came to Mumbai at the slightest excuse and stayed at his house; none of them thought of checking into a hotel. It wouldn’t even occur to them to do so as they displayed the same warm hospitality typical of small villages when he visited them on his annual visit to his native village. The house was small as were most houses in Mumbai; it was not a house, it was an apartment – a government quarter and it was quite cramped with the four of them living there not to speak of the dozens of guests who were never in any hurry to leave. This latest onslaught had begun a week ago and there were no imminent signs of departure. Deepa was partly to blame; she was so generous and cared for their guests so attentively that not one of them seemed to realize that he was uncomfortable. He was constantly irritated and wished for a respite from the crowded atmosphere and also wanted to recover from the dent this continuous flow of guests had on his finances.

Madhav discussed his problem with his friend Prashant. Prashant suggested he talk to his wife. But that did not help. Deepa enjoyed being a hostess and loved it when relatives from the village landed on their doorstep.

“You and the children are away the whole day, it keeps me busy to have guests at home,” she said when Madhav tried to seek her support in reducing the flow of guests. Madhav’s pleas that he was finding it difficult to manage the finances fell on deaf ears. It infuriated him that his wife should be so unsympathetic. Deepa refused to believe that there was any financial problem; she assumed that Madhav was just trying to get rid of their guests so he could have the house to himself and hide in a corner of it and not have to mingle with people.

Over the next few weeks Madhav and Prashant joined forces and tried to convince Deepa of the havoc she was creating in their family life by her obstinacy; all to no avail. Deepa wouldn’t budge. So Madhav was back with Prashant trying to devise a plan to cure Deepa of this malady which the two of them had dubbed “guestomania”. Madhav decided and Prashant agreed that something drastic needed to be done to “cure” Deepa. They considered and discarded various ideas and plans when fate decided to take a hand in Madhav’s destiny.

Madhav had a colleague Ms.Shanti Gokhale, who was known for her bad temper and irritability. She was a spinster and lived alone and was on the verge of retirement. She had booked an apartment in suburban Mumbai so she could shift there immediately after her retirement. Presently, she lived in one of the apartments (govt quarters) of Madhav’s building. She was constantly at loggerheads with the other residents of the building. Children loathed the sight of her and neighbourhood gossip had it that her Bai (maid servant) who also cooked for her had a tough time as she was forever complaining about the taste, quality, variety etc. The only thing that gave her any pleasure were her plants, she seemed to shower all her love and affection on them and they rewarded her by growing green and blooming with colourful flowers which were a sight for sore eyes. She occupied a ground floor flat out of choice which had given her the advantage of a tiny backyard where she tended her garden with as much care as a new mother bestowed on her precious newborn. The disadvantages faced by her by virtue of her occupying a ground floor flat were constant irritants and only succeeded in worsening her cranky nature. Children who played cricket nearby were warned not to hit shots in the direction of her flat or garden. Residents were constantly harangued about not washing their balconies after 9 am as the dirty water fell into her pathway; and if she were to catch anyone throwing anything out of a window – God help them! Visitors often found their two wheelers had mysteriously moved away from the spot where they had originally parked it! In time, the other residents had learnt to steer clear of Ms.Gokhale and there were jokes made that she was opposite in nature to her name! All social get-togethers at the time of Ganesh Chaturthi and Deepavali were held without her. She was generally ignored by all.

As the date of her retirement approached Ms. Gokhale found that she was faced with a problem. The apartment she had booked was not going to be completed in time. All her attempts to browbeat the builder had failed; it seems that her rants did not have any effect on the building industry. So she now had the problem of finding alternative accommodation till such time as her apartment was ready. Her hunt was not successful; there were no apartments to suit her much reduced budget as befitting a pensioner. Further, many people were unwilling to let their flats to a spinster. Ms.Gokhale quietly retired without the usual partying or bonhomie which marks such occasions. The news that she had nowhere to go after a month when she had to vacate the govt. quarter spread through the Bai network. Madhav too learnt of it from Deepa and it was then that Prashant had his brainwave. He advised Madhav to invite Ms. Gokhale to stay in their house till her apartment was ready for occupation. Madhav looked at Prashant as if he had lost his senses.

“Are you mad?” he asked, “Invite that cranky woman into my home; she will make my life miserable.”

“Think of the advantages,” said Prashant persuasively, “if she stays at your place you will have an excuse to demur when your relatives invite themselves over to your place. And maybe your wife will get fed up of catering to this cranky character and stop being such a good hostess.”

Madhav thought about it and realized that the idea had merit. But he was still very reluctant. After thinking about it from all angles he finally broached the topic with his wife. Deepa, tender hearted and ever ready to help others, of course, jumped at the idea and accepted with alacrity. She lost no time in dragging a still doubtful and reluctant Madhav to Ms. Gokhale’s apartment and inviting her to stay with them till her apartment was ready. To say that Ms. Gokhale was shocked is to put it mildly; she was flabbergasted. She had not thought that her relationship with her neighbours was at the level where she would be invited by them to stay for an indefinite period of time. She replied that she would think it over and let them know. She was on Madhav’s doorstep, a week later, looking as reluctant as Madhav felt to invite her in. She agreed to their proposal but insisted that she would pay them for her boarding and lodging and nothing could budge her from this decision.

Ms. Gokhale was duly installed in Madhav’s house at the end of the month; she arrived with just two suitcases – one full of clothes and the other her gardening implements which she pushed under the bed in what was to be her bedroom; she had very few worldly possessions. The furniture in her house was govt. issue which had to be left in the quarter on vacation. She had made a trip to her brother’s house in a remote village of Maharashtra where she had dumped all her books, cassettes, CDs and other odds and ends she had collected over the years.

For the first few weeks Ms.Gokhale’s presence made no difference to Madhav’s household. She generally spent the morning in her garden; she had entered into an arrangement with the new occupants of her old apartment which allowed her to maintain her garden for as long as she was in the building. She spent her afternoons in her room reading. She kept herself well supplied with reading material. But, soon one could sense that she was feeling restless and bored. Deepa kindly invited her to help her in the kitchen, thinking that this would help her feel more at home and also occupy her time. Shanti, as she was now called by Deepa accepted hesitantly. The hesitation soon disappeared and the authoritative side of her character began raising its ugly head. Deepa found all the utensils rearranged the containers with various groceries, spices etc placed according to size, old and unwanted vessels, plastic containers etc discarded and even the placing of the gas stove changed. Deepa could not recognize her own kitchen and soon began to feel lost there as she could not find anything without a frantic hunt! The whole house was cleaned – cobwebs attacked mercilessly, floors scrubbed with Harpic, bathroom floors and tiles were treated to the beneficial effects of the strongest acid in the market. The result of the cleaning spree was that Deepa’s bai threatened to quit at all the extra work she had to put in. Deepa had realized that she had bitten off more than she could chew where this particular guest was concerned. Madhav, on the other hand was delighted as he had always felt that their house was untidy and cluttered. Soon, Shanti was planning the menus and poor Deepa was following wearily as no amount of argument could budge the lady once she made up her mind. As Deepa mused about her predicament, she began to realize that something drastic would have to be done to change the situation in her house. Her children had begun to hate Shanti and had no qualms about showing it openly; but it was all water off a duck’s back as far as Shanti was concerned. Madhav strangely seemed unaffected by it all. Deepa decided to discuss the issue with Madhav.

Madhav had come to the conclusion that Shanti was the best thing that had happened to his household. Though her staying with them cost him little, she paid generously for her boarding and lodging. For the first time after coming to Mumbai, Madhav found that he had a little money left over for his own needs after meeting all his commitments. Further, all his relatives had kept away when they met the ogre staying in his house. Deepa too was more subdued than usual and the kids were learning some much needed discipline. His house was spic and span and all the tiresome clutter had disappeared. He felt he could continue with this arrangement forever!! As luck would have it, Shanti’s apartment was still not ready. It was now 5 months since she had arrived and Madhav felt that his life had never been better.

So, it was not surprising that when Deepa broached the topic of Shanti shifting elsewhere, Madhav was adamantly against it. All Deepa’s arguments that she and the children were feeling like strangers in their own home fell on deaf ears. In fact, Madhav suggested that Shanti could let out her apartment when it was ready and continue as a permanent “guest” in their home!! Deepa was dumbstruck – when had her husband become so pro-guests?... she wondered. She also remembered that it was Madhav who had first suggested that they invite Shanti into their home. Was there something behind the whole uncharacteristic behaviour, she asked herself. At long last, simple, innocent Deepa began to smell a rat. But she could not get any answers to her queries as Madhav vehemently denied any ulterior motive in inviting Shanti. Deepa now decided to take positive action as her suspicions were completely aroused. After a lot of thought, she decided to talk to her husband’s closest friend Prashant.

Deepa visited Prashant’s house which was at the other end of the city. After relating her tale of woe to Prashant who grew more and more uncomfortable as the narrative progressed, Deepa asked, “Can you think of an idea to change his mind? I am unable to convince him; the children are on the warpath, I am at the end of my rope but Madhav seems absolutely unaffected. Infact, I swear he is quite happy at the whole situation. How can this be? Earlier, he always protested when our house was invaded by guests. All those guests were temporary but this lady seems to be becoming a permanent fixture in our house. Please do suggest something.”

As Prashant looked at Deepa’s expectant face, he felt he had come full circle – now the wife wanted a “cure” for her husband’s “guestomania”!!